Exactly how do we improve our self-worth?!
Improving your self-worth can take a lot of work depending on how you currently view yourself. It is definitely a mindset shift. Our self-worth coincides with the thoughts we have about ourselves. We can not completely control the thoughts that we have so we need give ourselves some grace. The important word here is “improving” our self-worth, not having this miraculously perfect outcome.
Strip it all away
Imagine yourself stripping away your accomplishments, your titles, your income. Then, remove your material items, such as your clothes, cars, house, etc. Lastly, lets remove the relationships in your life and perceptions people have of us. What is left? The answer is you. The core of YOU.
You at your core
Focus on the things that make you YOU just the way you are. It might help to think about items that made you who you were before you had all of those things we just stripped ourselves from, such as when you were a child. For me, that leaves me as a human being who is humorous, emotional (good and bad), driven, loving, respectful, family oriented, enjoys creative outlets, a helper, leader, sensitive, and loves self-expression through clothing and interior design... No matter how your qualities are similar or completely different from mine, you are a worthy human being. Knowing who we are at our core helps us have a better understanding of what our actual self-worth entails because many of us attach those items that we just stripped ourselves from as our worth. So when we do that, we feel a lack of self-worth when we lose a job, lose a relationship, etc. We are completely and I mean ONE HUNDRED PERCENT still worthy when life throws unfortunate situations at us.
Do you know what you are worthy of?
Now that you have released yourself of all the layers of you that are not at your core and knowing qualities that truly make you who you are, what are you worthy of? For me, it took me many years after being in an unhealthy relationship and being a mom to learn what I was truly worthy of. I used to think I was not worthy of putting myself first because I was “healthier than” the other people in my life and I had the mindset that I couldn’t ever put myself first if I had children. I now know I am worthy of prioritizing my health. Meaning, I am allowed to take time for myself to get things checked out, to get a massage, to move my body daily, to eat well, to continuously focus on my mental health. I am also worthy of putting my needs and wants first when dealing with an unhealthy individual by setting boundaries. And as a reminder to parents, knowing you are worthy of taking care of yourself is an excellent example to set for your children!
Tools to improve self-worth
Take a day just for yourself (yes, you can!)
During that day, do things that are fulfilling for you. Spend time in nature by the mountains or the beach, anywhere that is calling you. Maybe it’s shopping, journaling, writing, listening to music, practicing affirmations that you are needing. This will be a time to avoid activities that are solely distractive to connecting to yourself, such as watching TV or scrolling on your phone. Those activities could even be detrimental to improving self-worth if you find yourself comparing yourselves to others and feeling bad for yourself, lowering your sense of value.
Make moves on what would help you by starting off writing a list of ten items you are worthy of, even if you don’t truly believe them all just yet! Brainstorm what would help you feel better about your worth on a daily basis. Oh and continue to take this time for yourself regularly and if you need to, schedule it in or take it abruptly if you need to.
Seeking support through other outlets
Other options that are not individual activities to try are healing circles, group therapy, sound baths, restorative yoga, individual therapy, and talking with supportive and uplifting people in your life.
The good days and the bad days, give yourself some grace
Are you going to have days where you don’t feel worthy? Or maybe even just have fleeting thoughts that include low self-worth? Easily. A trigger can be seeing someone very successful at something you desire to be successful at. This could cause you to feel like you are not comparable to them and are not worthy of that type of success, happiness, sense of freedom. But you are. You are worth all of it and then some. Give yourself grace because we ALL have thoughts like this. When you do, try to remember WHO YOU ARE at your core and repeat the affirmations that you need <3. Because babe, you are worth it!